Justice Pirate

wife, homeschooling mom of 2 sons, photographer, abolitionist to end modern-day slavery/human trafficking, aspiring missionary, vintage fashion wearer


2 Comments

Thankful for Friendships

There was once a little girl who lived in a lot of solitude.  She longed for companionship and friendship with those around her.  Unfortunately, her tactics to receive friends were selfish and terrible.  She’d lie about things in hopes that they would be drawn to her.  Her life was too boring otherwise.  As she entered middle school, she continued on but decided the lying had to stop, for it just made matters worse.  She gave it up cold turkey, like a bad habit.

The only potential friends she had were boys.  She liked things they liked and had fun playing basketball, skateboarding, swinging on ropes in the woods, playing card games, video gaming, and drawing.  She smoked cigars about once a month that her brother would give her (he was legal age to buy them), loved going for walks and bike rides, swam and roller bladed regularly, and listened to music constantly.  Most of her time was spent in her bedroom.  She had a lot of anger but a load of love.

She’d go to camp every summer swimming, canoeing, kayaking, sailing, shooting rifles, and making friends who accepted her for who she was.  She’d go home after collecting dozens of addresses from her friends at camp and would write letter after letter.  Some of these people would write back once, some not at all, and others continued for a year to several years to even over a decade, until she no longer heard from them at all.

Once she became a teenager, her mother suggested having a girl from school sleep over each weekend or said she should go to their house overnight in hopes that she’d gain friends.  However, this girl never knew what it was like to go on the internet in the mid 90′s and wanted to experience chat rooms.  She’d spend hours on her “friends’” computers and this would irritate them.  She just didn’t know how to connect with the girls.  She didn’t know how to get to know them and would instead talk about her own dreams and hopes, because life was so boring that she didn’t have any hope outside of dreams.  These girls ended up backing away from her.  Another failed attempt at a friendship; one after the next.

The young girl loved long.  Her first “boyfriend” in school was when she was 10 & 11.  It lasted for five months and 10 days.  He stopped being her boyfriend simply because he was tired of being mocked for being with her, but he really did like her.  It took her a year and a half to finally get over him.  The next boy was one she didn’t think would like her, but he gave her a chance.  She fell in love at 13.  He was her best friend.  All his friends were her close friends, and they were all guys.  After many months, other girls started to take notice of her smart boyfriend who was getting better looking once he got a haircut and his braces removed.  She started to love him even more.  Then they broke up when their year anniversary was so close to arriving.  It was over a misunderstanding that was never dealt with properly.  He started to be cruel to her and stay away from her.  His friends continued to be nice to her, but she lost her friend and love.  It broke her heart deeply.

When entering high school, the girl was excited about her intent of finding friendship and regaining her love.  Everyone was tired of the girl and just ignored her.  She gave up and would cry in the art room during lunch times after the new freshmen girls that entered the school realized that she was weird and not as cool as some of the other kids.  She’d draw and draw and draw.  She wasn’t that good at it either, but it kept her mind busy. Her grades were terrible.

A girl who had left her school system after eighth grade started to show an interest in friendship with her.  She was so happy to find out this girl had no friends in her new school, so they connected and spent nearly every weekend watching anime together.  She’d spend hours on her friend’s computer (thankfully that year she finally had one to use of her own).  Her friend loved music and drawing too.  It was so much fun to be with someone and not feel so alone any longer, but in time, the girl would find her lifelong best friend who came into her school the following year.  The three got along well, thankfully for a few years.  She also was able to reconnect with a girl who was her first friend who went searching for faeries in the woods with her.

daisyyou'remydaisy4When freshman year came to a close, she was still so broken about how she had been treated over the years in her school, surrounded by the same people who mocked her every chance they could no matter how nice she would treat them.  She was tired of her love ignoring her and needed to get away. She was suffocating. It was time for a change.  She remembered a girl laughed at her once saying she’d never survive public school, but she knew she would do fine, or at least give it a try.

The second day of being in her new school, she met a freshman girl who was an outcast herself.  She too loved music and drawing.  They were very different, but they got along. She now had a best friend in school and outside of school.

She opened up her Bible.
Comfort.  Assurance.  Love.  A Father.  Affection.  Life.

These things were vital to her.  She prayed regularly and soaked in scriptures.  She’d read her Bible in between waiting for her friends to message her on her computer.

She wanted love.  “Send me a man who will be my husband and love me too.  Help me to find someone who will love you.”

And then….

He was there.  In front of her.  Praying. A boy in a public school that was open about his love for God astounded her.  She was intrigued. He was intrigued.  Her heart swelled with hope.  Her life was changing.  She was trusting in God.  He was giving her friendship and in time; love. She felt blessed.

Her friends started to go through very hard times.  They didn’t like life.  She wanted them to see how precious life was. She wanted them to see how God had been there for her and how when she gave herself to God, He truly blessed her.  He was always there. He was always the one to help her, but she didn’t always look to Him for help.  She told them to not give up hope.  She wanted them to see how much she loved them too.

More friendships. More blessings. Eventually God told her the boy she liked would be her husband.  He was going to help encourage her in times that were not easy.  He was going to help direct her towards God and love her even when it would be hard.

Soon her friends went off to college while others did not.  They didn’t need or want her.  They would push her away.  She realized she’d have to let them go.  She was left with one friend who meant so much to her and who didn’t seem to have any other friends too.  This friend loved music, horror movies, and Jesus.

The girl became a young woman and married the boy God promised would be her husband. He was always there for her.  He would hear her cries about her desires for a friend time and time again throughout their marriage. He figured he was enough and that I should be thankful for that, but she wanted female companionship. In time, she only had him left. The friends she made  she either somehow pushed away or they pushed her away.  She was falling away from God. She was losing so many.  She then nearly lost her love, but his love for her was filled with Christ’s forgiveness.

Online friends. She was left with people who made her feel happy.  She would even go and visit them as much as she could even if they did live hours away.  Her husband was so supportive. He was always willing to be there for her.  He was not pointing her to Christ to fulfill her voids though.  He was having his own battles and so helping her was not something too easy for him.

Freedom. Her husband found it a few years later.  God changed his heart.  She was feeling even more empty though. She went to God. “Help me! Thank you for helping my husband!”  He was there. Her heavenly Father.  He was always there.  Why did she always push him away? Why did she not lean on Him for strength?

Friends came again. Friends left again.  Friends came again.  Friends left again.  Friends always came and went.

Her husband became her only friend, but that was okay.  She was going to not worry about it.  God was still there.  She was going to Him.  He was more than any friend could offer her.  She’d love them. All those who hurt her and all those she hurt. They were all going to be forgiven.  She realized she did a lot of wrong to people.  She’d tell them that she was sorry.  She’d tell them that she just doesn’t know how to be a friend.  She doesn’t know how to relate to women.  She now would put all of herself in God’s hands.  If He would give her friends again, she’d be grateful, but she understood that they come and went at various times.

Each friend she had was so dear to her heart. She’d always love them even if she was not close to them any longer.  It was great that she had time with them while she did.  She still had a couple online friends, though she didn’t see or talk to them as often as she once did, but she knew they loved her.  One of her friends who spent only a couple months in silence away from her started to draw close to her again.  They are now so much alike and yet once they were so different, but her friend will be a missionary.  She will not be able to see her as often, but she knows that they are very close as sisters in Christ.  Their friendship is honest and heartwarming. God is still there for her.  Her husband points her towards Christ constantly.

She is I.  I am me.  I am the little lonely girl who has grown and decided that at 31 years of age, walking away from my past with a smile is worth it.  It has brought me closer to God.  I might still scare people off (unintentionally), but so did Jesus, and even His best friends abandoned Him at His arrest for doing no wrong – all but one of His friends remained near.  For once I am thankful for the very small handful of friends I have.  I am extremely thankful for the best-friend-of-a husband that God gave to me to help me in my times of loneliness and physically wiped away my tears over relationships with my friends.

If you are someone who was a friend of mine, I want you to know that I truly love you and am thankful for you being in my life as an encouragement to me.  I am sorry for failing in my words and actions.  My heart has been softened a lot over the past year alone and I have learned how to love more deeply and to see all in the image of God as they are.  I long to live out the Fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.  It is not an easy journey, but I am finally not lonely. I am His child.  It is not about me anymore. It is about caring about those I meet and interact with, for God loves them deeply and wants them (and you) to know that.

Thank you especially to those who I considered my closest female friends at one time in my life whether or not they realized it or not (some which are close with me now):  Rachel, Greta, Lori, Nicole V.B,, Danielle, Nora & Kate, Lauryn, Cristina, Sandra, Nicole (N.E.S), Sheila, Laura, Mellie, Emilee, Lynsie, Loryn, Janice, Brienne, Rachel D., and Megan & Kelly & Jenn.friendscombofriendsrachel friendsNora friendsLaurynandCristinaedit friendsLaura friendsEmileeMellieLorifriendslynsie friendsbrienne


2 Comments

Our Family in Weekly Photos (2014) – 46 of 52

anotherpictureagainthumbIMG_0859thumbIMG_0865thumbIMG_0856thumb1. I love this face (not just literally, which is definitely true) but because he has that “This lady is taking my photo AGAIN, but she is really cute” look about him.
2. Micah helping me at the laundromat and being adorable.
3. Leto helping me fold socks.
4. Me with my new glasses since my eyes have become worse.  Apparently I need to use my reading glasses sometimes for distance (I need bifocals but because my eyes aren’t very bad, my eye dr. suggested this beore I eventually will wear bifocals).


1 Comment

Our Family in Weekly Photos (2014) – 45 of 52

fiveguys2thumb FiveGuys1thumbfiveguys3thumbwhyamIsoboringthumbThis past week was really busy that I actually barely ever had the camera with me or ready at all.  I don’t even know how to process it in words.  Here are photos from when we went to Five Guys together, which it has been a while since we did so.  The one of me was taken out of boredom at home.


Leave a comment

Our Family in Weekly Photos (2014) – 43 & 44 of 52

Micah'slastgame2014_2thumb DOTA2yeahthumbLetoeatingsubwaythumbRob'sfierybeardthumb1. Micah playing one more soccer game.  He was running around pretending to be a zombie from that one game Plants vs. Zombies. . . yeah…. :: sigh ::
2.  Speaking of games, I have been playing Dota 2 for over a year now.  Here I am on a Saturday morning in pajamas with greasy hair playing with a few guys I play in teams with.  We were searching for a match at this point.  One teen told me recently that I am like a second mom to him.  That was really heartwarming.
3. Leto eating Subway food. He loves it (so do I).
4. Rob’s been growing a beard. It grows in bright red from his Irish heritage (his grandmother had red hair when she was young).  His co-worker recently saw light shining on it and thought his beard was on fire. It is that bright – so here is light shining on it as an example.
hikingwitheachother8thumbhikingwitheachother10thumb hikingwitheachother1thumbhikingwitheachother7thumb
We went hiking on Rob’s half day of work that he had.  It was a fun and adventurous three hours.  The boys were so well behaved and we had a good time until the end when we realized that we were out in the road with a LONG way back to our car (someone gave us a ride).  All in all, it was very nice.


1 Comment

My Summer and How You Can Help a Program

I haven’t posted much about my personal life lately.  I’ve been attempting to be more private for various reasons.
My church has a summer program every year, which I was able to a part of for six weeks this past summer teaching vocal lessons, Bible lessons to 9-13 year old children, and photography.  Basically, my church is the only church in its small town and is between a liquor store and a strip club in the middle of a low-income housing area filled with heroin use and sexual exploitation.  Homelessness is definitely all around.  There is a lot of spiritual warfare there that I have been a witness to.  The summer program is to help give outlets for children through teaching them the arts and the gospel.  We want to be able to help them have something to do in the summer so they don’t end up falling into many of the problems in the neighborhood. I had such joy in watching these kids smile and learn and ask question after question about God.  They showed a great interest in learning.  A lot seem to have hopelessness, but in their eyes I saw great desire for hope.  I saw great faith being developed.  I see that they will be able to have futures that are bright. Every week we had a different amount of kids and got a lot of kids that returned each week too. It was a lot of hard work and wore me out, but it was so great to build relationships with these kids.

We have such a tiny church (with about only 30 or so members) but our heart for the community around us is so large.
We have a fundraiser right now where if you buy a Yankee Candle, 40% of your purchase will go to the Summer Program so that we can have funds for supplies needed to do it next summer.  We have a lot to do in preparation!
To buy a Yankee Candle, go to this link. On the left hand side there is a box that says “Group #” – please put in this number 990068895.  In the second box it will ask for a Seller ID.  Put in Victoria82.  Then click the orange “Start shopping” button.  Go on and look through and do your purchasing and the final order will let you know how much was donated to the program.  Thank you so much for anything you can do to help.

Here are some photos from this past summer.  SummerThumb5summerthumb3summerthumb1summerthumb4summerthumb2summerthumb6


5 Comments

Our Family in Weekly Photos (2014) – 42 of 52

PumpkinSammthumbpumpkinMicahthumbpumpkinvictoriathumb pumpkinLetothumb1-4: We went pumpkin picking as you can see.  The downside to this day was that it took Rob a full hour to park (I drove a Jeep filled with girls from our new youth group and got a spot someone was about to get out of).  It was a nice day regardless though!  We went on a sweet hay ride.  I hadn’t been on one since I was about Leto’s age.  We each picked out a pumpkin. The boys have since painted theirs.


2 Comments

Our Family in Weekly Photos (2014) – 41 of 52

Micahsoccerindoorsbwthumbvowelsband6thumbLetoismyhelperthumb appliquefinishingthumb

1. Micah’s game was indoors because of rain.  He (#1) seems more interested in just jumping up and down and having fun than playing, but he is adorable and even got to play goalie at one point, which he seemed to have fun trying out.  He was all sweaty afterwards so he definitely had a good time running about.
2. Rob’s band (he plays bass) called Vowels played their first live show during the week (we all went).  They did SO SO SO amazing.  I got a video clip played at the bottom of this, but wish I recorded through their whole set and entire songs.  There were so many people there to support them and cheer them on.  They already have more shows coming up!
3. Leto has been being more helpful when we go to the laundromat.  He carries my basket for me willingly and tries to help me with the clothes.  Here he is helping me out while we were going in to switch the laundry from the washer into the dryer.  He’ll hate it in no time, I’m sure.
4.  Here I am working on my last quilting block for my first quilt.  This is an applique.  I put a lot of work into this one and think it was one of my best blocks too.  I can’t wait to piece them all together and finalize the quilt too!  

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 80 other followers