“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.” -John 16:21
In high school when I dated my husband and we were planning on getting married one day. During my senior year (or right after, in which we were newly engaged), I mentioned how it would be nice to be pregnant by 22. Rob laughed about it, but was not against the idea and said, “We’ll see.” He was more practical and didn’t think too much about the future, but about what we were planning at the moment (to get married in general). We married when I was 20, and by 22, I was in fact pregnant!
My first pregnancy with Leto was really rough. I did not enjoy it at all. I worked at a food place and had my own puke bucket. Thankfully I only puked once per day (well sometimes 4 times in a row or within 15 minutes, but it was during a segment of a day). I felt so sick with so many smells. Yesterday I was thinking about my Indian neighbors where we used to live. The smell of curry was delightful, until I was pregnant! Chicken teriyaki is one of my favorite things to eat, until I was pregnant and felt so sick whenever near it (I eat it now again). I lost interest in eating anything I normally did other than eggs, bread, and cookies (which I gorged myself on). I thought I was supposed eat and eat and eat. LIE! I gained double the weight I was supposed to, which caused me to give birth to a 9lb 14oz baby!!
I almost lost Leto at 25 weeks pregnant. It was very scary to have pre-term labor contractions. Thankfully he settled down in my womb and did well in the remaining 16 weeks I carried him. My body swelled up everywhere (which is why I won’t show the later pregnancy photos of me when I ballooned). I had my first stretch mark by 34 weeks which increased across my lower abdomen, my inner thighs, my breasts, and my calves. I was so sad and cried a lot because I’m a vain person. I received a rash on my hands and feet that lasted 4 days (until a few hours after giving birth). Regardless of it all, I had a beautiful baby boy and am thrilled for the suffering.
With my pregnancy with Micah, I was more careful in what I ate, and blessed with gaining half of the weight I had gained with Leto. I was just as tired as I was the first time, just as sore, but scents smelled a little better to me and I only threw up 7 times total. My face still swelled up, I didn’t get any new stretch marks, and I was much happier but still hated being pregnant. It is sad. Although pregnancy is uncomfortable and doesn’t make you feel as pretty at all, it really is wonderful. I actually miss it a little. . . because the best part about pregnancy is feeling your child hiccuping, kicking softly, feeling their bodies rolling around, and seeing their bums raised in one spot depending on how you lay! The little galloping heartbeat is adorable, and seeing pictures of them being secured in your body is joyful, as you wonder how they’ll look outside of the womb and anticipate holding them!!!
In reading the scriptures, we learned that through this process of waiting on God and trusting Him, we have drawn closer in our walk with the Lord individually and as a couple. Our boys actually pray for their future siblings every single day, sometimes several times of their own freewill. It is really beautiful. God says to wait on Him, so we wait. We believe it is God’s will for us to have more children, but we interfered with His plan with our own and want to now raise more children. If God shuts the door (or disciplines us for our mistake by not allowing us to have more), we will plan on adoption, but because we are still in our 20s, we have time to have more. If God instead gives us children to adopt, either way we will raise them in His word and will love and cherish them. We’ve thought about the fact that if we never did get the vasectomy done, we’d probably have another child by now (or even a fourth on the way).
Please pray WITH us for this issue. Be kind and considerate with your comments on the issue, because I’ve done ten months of enough crying over it and have listed loads of options and prayed out many times about it, and really don’t want people to be negative or hurtful further with the pain I already feel. Thank you.
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.” -Psalm 127:3-5