kissysilliesAs a child I always dreaded Valentine’s Day because it meant that I’d be made fun of just as much as the other days but little boys’ & girls’ mothers would make them give valentines to everyone in the class. They’d ignore me completely that day.  At one time in 3rd grade I had a crush on a boy and gave him this champagne shaped bottle with candies all inside of it.  He liked it, it seemed, but my mom got a call from the teacher complaining since it was in a champagne looking bottle so the teacher was concerned. After that I stopped handing out valentines to everyone.  The girls were mean to me and never gave me valentines, though one girl gave me a Sailor Moon valentine in 8th grade because she thought of me when she saw it, and that touched me.

Although I did have “long-term” in-school boyfriends in 5th grade & in 7th-8th grade, I don’t remember getting any valentines from either of them .  I’m pretty certain I gave them cards and probably candy.

When Rob and I first became a couple, I had either laryngitis or bronchitis on our first Valentine’s Day.  He came to visit me when I was sick in my bed surrounded by used tissues (which I didn’t have a bed, just sheets on my floor. . long story).  He gave me a dozen roses and a card. It was sweet. It made me cry. For years afterwards though, I only recall one other Valentine’s Day in which he ever got me something (a bunch of Pro-Flowers back a few years ago).  Although we have been a couple over 12 years now, I have learned to accept that Rob is terrible at giving me cards or presents (he’d admit it). I rarely get them on any birthday or holiday.  It used to hurt me a bit, but I’ve adjusted & accepted it, and decide to not build up hope that I’ll get anything because then I’ll be mopey all day (I am low-maintenance & a cheap date but I like feeling like a queen for special days).

This morning I gave Rob a card and he said, “I was hoping you wouldn’t do this because I didn’t get you one.” I even warned him a month ago to prepare, but I knew he wouldn’t.  I told him that I figured he would not have given me anything, so I bought something for myself “from him” (a shirt from Sevenly for this week’s cause being Freedom Firm, to help rescue girls from sexual exploitation and slavery). I did get Rob a couple presents (inexpensive) that haven’t arrived yet. He knows about one of them (A vinyl record of The Selecter’s Too Much Pressure).

The truth is that Rob loves me & I haven’t any doubts about it. Spending money on me won’t prove his love to me, especially on a day that most wives expect their husbands to buy them something.  We won’t be going out to eat tonight, and that is okay.  I won’t be lavished with chocolates or teddy bears or things like that, and that’s okay (I’d eventually throw out the teddy bear as it is probably. . I’m not good at sentimental possessions, just memories & photos).  We have been bound together through Christ Jesus and adore one another. That’s most important, I think.

This Valentine’s Day, buy gifts that will change lives!
I adored World Vision’s little cut-out Valentines here. Aw. Please consider sponsoring a child with the one you love! You’ll be providing a child, their family, and their community in a third world country with clean water, medical needs, educational needs, agriculture needs, etc & will be able to build a bond with them every step of the way of your sponsorship with them!  If you have any questions about World Vision and sponsorship, please ask me (I’m a volunteer WV Child ambassador).

Showing love to those who have nothing or who have had their entire lives stripped away from them from human trafficking issues is a great way to celebrate today. If you haven’t a Valentine, show love to someone else anyway! I made this fundraising page a year ago to help raise $1000 for Love146 who restores young girls who have been rescued out of brothels who were exploited and prostituted.  They help bring medical attention, therapy, a way to interact with others who understand them, and get the opportunity to be educated and gain skills so they can thrive & not enter back into oppression!

Give to orphans through Lifesong!  So many children feel unloved and there are great Gifts of Purpose you can choose in order to help them!

Join the conversation! 8 Comments

  1. Fantastic post. Thanks for the great reminder on Valentine’s Day! There is so much more to this holiday than the shallow, superficial stuff that’s become the norm.

    ❤ Cambria

  2. That’s exactly what we did for Christmas! Both holidays go so much more beyond all that commercial stuff that everyone makes it out to be – I always dreaded Vday in school too. I was always the gal who didn’t get the cheesy carnation from the boys…that’s probably a good thing 🙂 The hubs and I will be celebrating over dinner tonight – nothing overboard but will be sweet indeed. I’m a true believer in celebrating with little acts of love every day.

  3. The way you and Rob relate to each other is always heart-warming for me to hear about, Victoria. Thanks so much for sharing this with us today.

    On getting something for my wife, she made me promise not to get her a present, not even a card. But she didn’t say anything about a blog post. When I sent her the link to my piece today, she emailed back that I had made her cry, and she wrote LOVE just like that, all caps. Mission accomplished.

  4. that’s really awesome you’re supporting world vision on vday! i def prefer to spend my money on things that matter or even a thoughtful gift we really need than a crazy amount on flowers, which i never realized before how much people actually spend and it blows my mind. but anyway, your school sounds so different than mine, I think we were just forced to give vday cards to everyone but i also always dreaded and got sad about vday in hs and now J & I dont really do anything.

  5. I think the idea of giving a donation instead of flowers of candy is a lovely one – there is a actually a big campaign here in Oz to do this with local charities.


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About Victoria / Justice Pirate

Victoria. Anabaptist, Wife of Rob, Mom of two boys, minimalist, quilt maker, Resources Adviser/Social Media Manager for anti-human trafficking awareness organization Justice Network (


love, love146, World Vision


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