I look back on my life and understand that I am glad my past is far behind me now. Over the past year I’ve been going through any pains from my (childhood) past that I have held on to and have made a hard decision to grow through them. This means I’ve had to make some apologies to people (still working on it, as I’ve been trying to just get in touch with a few hurt within the past couple years). In other ways it has meant that I’ve had to forgive a lot of people. A lot of people. In living a life radically for Christ, I understand that I cannot take that step without living in complete forgiveness daily. I don’t like the person I was, but am thankful for the person the Lord has made me into and am glad that there are ways that I am growing now even though I am starting to get older. It is fun that I am “growing up” in my last few months of being in my 20s.
I pray that I can train my own sons to be able to forgive not only people who might hurt them, but teach them to forgive themselves and hope that they also will not hurt anyone. I know that my heart was easily broken by people who hurt me, and I don’t want my sons to go through that or make others go through that. They are beautiful and are so young and now that I am getting through my own past, I can watch out as my sons get to that stage where it starts getting difficult and kids start being cruel. I know some people who have never properly dealt with their pasts and still hold things against themselves or others. I don’t want to be like that or my sons to be like that. It creates a lot of problems.