I like facing challenges. I don’t like the rejection I receive after deciding to go through a challenge.
It is hard for me when people don’t want to ask why I am doing something, when they don’t understand when I try to explain it, when they start assuming their own ideas about me without asking specifics, and when they just think I am crazy or misled. My husband tells me, “Just accept it and move on.” He’s right. How can I move on though?
This year has been one of challenges for me in so many varied ways. Scratch that, these past five years have been extremely challenging and life transforming. I have lost a lot, and not just the possessions I have rid my life of. I try to remember the many things I have gained, and it comforts me greatly. It is important to be thankful for even the smallest things, which helps me feel a lot of joy. As hard as the past five years have been, they have also been my best five years.
How have I faced each challenge that I face in life? On my knees in prayer, crying out for help and guidance while reading through scriptures and trying to understand them as if I never heard or read it before in order to renew my mind and soul.
I actually have to go through a mourning period. Sometimes this can last for a few months, and that is okay. I will not stay there. I must move out of it. Staying there is a terrible thing that can make me pitifully selfish. I think I have stayed in this current mourning period for far too long.
I think about King David who decided to defy God by disobeying Him in several ways. As discipline, he had consequences to face. When he did face them he did not blame God. He blamed himself for doing wrong and asked for forgiveness. I go through a self-blame game and over analyze. It actually torments me to do this and needs to stop.
When the mourning period ends, rejoicing is important. Today I am ready. This day marks the end of my mourning period. I can move forward! Today I will rejoice for I am alive and free from sin’s hold because of Christ’s broken body, his blood poured out, and his life that has resurrected. I have grace because God saw me, loves me, and sent His son to save me! Therefore victory has been won and I have salvation through Christ! I have the Holy Spirit’s guidance to help me continue on to work and face any new challenges with confidence!
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” -Philippians 4:4-9